The Art of Communicating, Developing Yourself is Meaningful for Others

Dale Carnegie once said in 1963, “Most likely, the biggest problem you (humans) face is dealing with other people.”[1] Well… Dealing with other people is the biggest problem, besides being a primary human need.

Humans are social creatures, so the existence of other humans is very urgent and even mandatory. It is said that humans cannot live without other humans. This is due to the limitations and diversity of every human being. This limitation is either in his strength or his ability to live life. A human being needs the help of another human being to cover or eliminate these limitations. Diversity here means that humans have limited abilities and strengths but differ from one another.

Dealing with other people is a human need, but there is a big problem there. How not, when we deal with other people, we make the slightest mistake that offends someone's feelings and norms, then the business or relationship with that person seems to be tarnished, even not working properly. So, it is very important the art of relationship, where the fulcrum is the art of communicating with other people.

In this digital era (The Digital Age), communication can be established very easily and quickly. This situation is very positive, because then human needs can be met instantly, especially the need to communicate. In family relationships, for example, it usually takes a long time to communicate with parents or children who are traveling out of town. We need to write a letter on paper, buy an envelope and send it to the Post. The letter did not even arrive a day or two, if far it could be weeks. Try to compare it with now, in a matter of seconds our letters or messages can be sent using a smartphone. We can use WhatsApp, Facebook and other applications. This is certainly very positive because it provides convenience and time effectiveness, so that human communication needs can be met instantly.

But behind the positive side of the digital era there is a negative side. Fast and instant communication is often misinterpreted. This is because instant communication media in today's era still cannot fully describe the intent of the sender. So that a word conveyed can offend and entertain others. So the art of communicating in today's era is very important so that what we communicate and its goals or intentions can be conveyed precisely.

James Humes, former speech writer for the president of the United States, once said, "The art of communication is the language of leadership." [2] That is, when a person has the ability and expertise in communication, he can easily influence and control other people. Someone who can influence and control a person or group is essentially a leader. For example, in a family, a husband is a leader, but if his policies and influence are controlled by a wife, then in essence the wife is the leader in the family.

We live in a time where the influence of communication is won over by celebrities and sensations. It's easy to go viral when there's drama and sensation in it that are basically insignificant and have an impact on us. However, due to its insignificance, the effect of a sensational communication would not last long. Conversely, if the influence is obtained through the principle of goodness. Principles such as not easily blaming others, speaking in the interests of others, if one is wrong, immediately apologize, sympathy and empathy, help, and other kindnesses. Thus, the effects obtained from this will last longer. And that way you too can be a better and humbler partner, parent, co-worker, friend, and so on. So that the impact of the communication we provide can be longer and sustainable. A simple example is that artists who are famous for their sensations usually only have a short career, explode and fade away. Meanwhile, artists who value kindness and sincerity will usually have a longer career, because they usually have a strong positive influence on their fans. So that their fans will not easily turn away from them.

So basically we will be known and have a long and lasting influence if we mean something to others. Tim Irwin, a corporate psychologist, in his book “Derailed” describes the six downfalls of leading CEOs. The downfall was fueled by their inability to build meaningful relationships and influence with their employees. In terms of hard skills, such as programming, making work operations, company planning and so on, they are very skilled. However, in terms of influence based on meaning and meaning (soft skills) with employees it is very low. So that employees feel that their leaders lack empathy and compassion for them. In the end, great skills (hard skills) if not accompanied by feelings of sincerity, joy and happiness from employees will not work perfectly. Because employees consider themselves only working and needed to achieve the interests of their leaders.

Another small example, when we are friends, but we find out if the person is friends with us because of self-interest or ulterior motives. So, do we want to maintain a friendship like that? Even if we maintain that friendship then it will have very little effect on us. We will naturally doubt and limit our trust in them. Therefore, it is important to establish friendships, family relationships, work and so on by paying attention to the meaning and significance of these relationships. So that others can trust us completely and sincerely relate to us. Because a sincere and meaningful relationship will further widen our path to develop ourselves to be better and more positive.

When we want to develop ourselves as writers, for example, we will be easy and open if we establish sincere communication and relationships with other people. We will easily believe in our work, our writing will be liked because we are very sincere writers and can give meaning to each of their writings, readers will continue to remember our writing because it can change their lives. In work or other things we will easily run it, this is because we present sincerity, meaning and meaning in it.